Poem

Contradictions

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Contradictions make me itchy.

They’re a sign of immaturity,

Perhaps I shouldn’t rush it.

But I look at those who’re supposed to be

Wiser than I am,

And the sad reality is that

They say one thing, and do another.

I keep reminding myself,

“Beware, don’t be like them.”

In a fight

I cannot move forward,

I am too busy shielding myself,

Protection.

I admit that I am trying to enjoy

A chaotic journey.

Will I ever have everything?

And how much am I willing to sacrifice?

Can I just let go?

The price is high no matter which road I decide to take.

But for now,

I confess that I not mature enough to go down that road.

My conscience does not allow me

To make avoidable mistakes.

So forgive me.

Forgive my little contradictions, just for now.

Forgive my inability to follow-through.

Forgive my working against my desires.

I will call you when I have things figured out.

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Stay

Stay

In the darkness, sightless
Holding my pride, needless of help
Hesitant of every step I take
Blindfolded, I walk

I trip, but manage not to fall
I don’t know what it feels like
To hit the ground
It only makes me grow in fear

I grow older, not knowing what’s it like to fall
What if I fall too hard when I’m too old – when I’m too weak?

Am I learning? I see no mistakes
Maybe tiny little blunders
But am I desperate for mistakes?
Is it a mistake not to make one?

Too wary, too cautious
Adventurous, a risk taker
I let myself go – but with you, too close, I can’t
I cannot ignore you, your eyes
They watch me, I’m too cold – I’m paralyzed

But You – You free me
Stay
You’re my mistake, I embrace Your existence
I don’t want to live in regret
I don’t want to miss the chance
Stay for as long as You can